HE CHANGED

HE CHANGED

Permit me to call him Denzel. He came to me based on parental request. His parents wanted him to learn under me. I was not in any way receptive to that idea. I didn’t like boys like him who felt they had what it took to rule the world and yet live in their parents houses and cannot even afford a single meal.

I had information of his way of life and his clique of friends. I didn’t want to get involved, not because it was a difficult case but I would rather not teach another man how to groom his son. With all I felt and knew, it was obvious that I couldn’t refuse his father this request. Many elders believe that it’s easier for one to mentor their children if one is in the same generation or age gap. His father thought so too, hence his request.

I accepted him and he began visiting the clinic to learn computers. I knew he wouldn’t do well because his attitude and view of life were so myopic and convoluted. I kept an eye on him and never gave my full attention to any hope of his getting better.

Things went from bad to worse and like I predicted, he began to show traits that resulted in me enforcing some disciplinary measures. He felt he was still at home and had some liberty but I had learnt to clip people’s wings in prayer and in discipline and his was not going to be an exception. I didn’t give him the impression that I was an easy going person. I made him see the not-to-pleasant part of me.

One day the clinic staff had an online meeting and the discussion wasn’t going as planned and he just said goodnight and logged off. I was irritated. You see, I am of the opinion that the manners you express online should mirror the ones you display offline. I took the act to mean that he walked out of the meeting. The next day I suspended him for his rudeness. The other staff begged on his behalf but he bragged his way home. I wasn’t moved. Days later he was yet to resume.

After some consideration and pleas from the other staff I allowed him to resume and he was a bit calm. Months rolled into years and information became knowledge to him. I handed him more responsibilities and put him to task. I still got reports of his misbehaviour at home but Denzel was now better than he once was. I still wasn’t impressed.

Slowly he began to read. He attended to problems that had not visible solutions. He engaged in trainings and became a distributor of knowledge. I sent his way, people who wanted to learn and encouraged him to attend to their situations and challenges. It was not sudden but one day he told me he was born again! I hadn’t preached to him or asked after his spiritual health. His sisters testified to a change in their sibling. I was interested now.

I gave him more responsibilities, tasks both in church and at the clinic. He was more focused now. His mind-set was still narrow but he was receptive. Years later, he cornered me at the back of the church to complain about a particular person who was not living up to expectation. As he spoke I marvelled. Could this be the same Denzel? Does he not remember his past and how he was? He obviously wasn’t here to talk about himself so I stopped thinking to myself and listened to him.

When he was done, I told him to his face that I was surprised to hear him speak in this manner and without waiting for me to voice more words, Denzel looked me straight back and said, “Sir, me I know I have changed, I have truly changed”. It was clear to me then that when a man knows himself then he is ready to live.

Denzel has become a model for some others, people now wish to be friends with him. It took requests, sacrifices and the eternal grace of God to make this new Denzel from the former. I had no hope then but I can categorically say now that no man is unchangeable.

Today, Denzel has assumed more responsibilities. I see him taking charge of his life. His words make more sense and he is visibly more mature. I really don’t know if I have the grace to bear with many more Denzels but I bore with this one and I know God knows too.

Many of our young brothers are this way. They live like nothing good would come from them. They become black sheep in their families, terror to their parents, unruly to elders and chief coordinators of various vices. Their identity is better left out of the equation but I am sure that the case you have is not special.

With God, Denzel changed in time. Your Denzel will change, just let God have his part. Keep praying, keep loving and keep hope alive. No man can change himself. He needs a force higher and greater than him and when that force is right, positive change is inevitable. Denzel changed. Your Denzel will.