RACE AGAINST TIME

Many years ago I was far from how experienced I am now but I always believed that I knew what I had to do. This was partly true and also partly shrouded by ignorance or lack of due knowledge. Nevertheless, I was the person I ought to be at the different times I existed.

I always wrote the plan of my life years ahead. I had a vision of my future mapped out and I diligently followed it as i had the ability. I got into school at about 17 (seventeen) years and graduated at 23 (twenty-three). That was after I waited for admissions for a year and did one semester in another school and then survived a more than one-year strike in school. Graduating at twenty-three wasn’t a privilege to me. It was late.

I felt like I was a little behind my schedule and I worked to catch up with lost time. I wanted to lecture, to be a public speaker, to be an author and also to be a classic computer professional. All these were not to be achieved independently but simultaneously. I had to set all in motion though at different paces. That was my dream, encompassed in compartments. I had written my first anthology by my final year in the university. I had taught tutorials for about three years before I graduated. I did trainings in computer repairs and became at peace in practicing programming long before I finished school. So I was on track on many aspects but everything looked gloomy still.

I knew time would span for some of them to be exactly on beat but I knew some aspects just had to materialize, time or no time. I served my country as a youth corp. member and things began to metamorphose. Visions refocused and dreams became clearer. I knew life was not all about me and the idea of a relationship showed up on the horizon. I tried to push it away but I knew it wouldn’t go, so I made plans for my marriage.

I planned to marry at twenty-six to the first lady I proposed to and I kept to my word until I found out that life was more complex than written-out plans.

I did my best logically and spiritually and mentally and socially yet my best was not good enough. I found myself in a relationship at twenty-four and insinuating a two-year courtship was a solid rung in the ladder of progress. We tested out fine, we were compatible and we were in love. All was indeed well

At twenty-six I was without a relationship and my plans collapsed. I looked at the blueprint and it was intact but the tide had changed. I wallowed in self-pity and failure-prone thoughts for months until I healed to a fault. I became rigid and refused to locate my plans. I felt the plans I had for my Masters and Doctorate wouldn’t turn out well. I wanted to be a professor at a certain age and now I had lost every fibre of actualization. It was a sad time for me and my logical nature. I lost the beat and I was out of rhythm.

I didn’t stay there too long. I joined a church I didn’t want to and soon I was leading a group of youths I didn’t like from day one. Leadership gave me knowledge. It drew me closer to God. I revisited my forgotten dreams and I saw that you never know what strength you have until you have burdens to bear. I grew in church and I loved myself then I loved my fellow youths

I resurfaced from the depth that sunk me. I picked my pieces and pieced my puzzles. I had to because I had no choice. As a leader people were counting on me. I could see weaker men and visionless people and all I went through was a lesson to guide them and the more I did, the more I understood that I had to continue my life’s pursuit. I planned more and I noticed the energy return. I had a lot to do now and the planning was more for people than for myself.

I have been discouraged time without number, I have virtually failed consistently and felt the sting of embarrassments or disappointments but one thing I haven’t done is… I have never given up. I look at time and I know it waits for no man but I plan again with the little time I have left. I do not call out to time to wait for me and pause a while, no. I pick myself up and run against it.

Today I have a small computer organization. I have become a lecturer, an editor of books, blogs, magazines and projects, a speaker of necessity and a counsellor and consultant of those around me. I have published works but no books. I have a relationship but no marriage yet. Admissions but no certificates at present and just in case you would want to ask… I am at peace. Peacefully calm.

I know it is no longer a race against time. It is about doing what I can, now that I can and the best way I can.I do not compare myself with others without coming back to my senses. I do not check the time and kill my hopes. I check what is left and what I can do with what is left. I observe my strength and focus my energy. I do not wallow in pity anymore, I glory in ability instead.

You too can do the same. You can forget all that is lost and undone and hold on to what is at present and to be done. You can forget what you lost and seek to acquire what you deeply desire, for deep within everyman is a way, when he shows the will.

Prov 21:31  “The horse is prepared against the day of battle but victory is of the Lord”(KJV)

Eccl 3:1  “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven”(WEB)