MY WALL POSTER
You may never have the opportunity to catch a glimpse of my bedroom but the colour distribution speaks of deep thoughts of balance. On the wall closest to my bed-stand is a wall poster featuring an interior décor of enviable taste. White sofas, wall paintings, potted plants, well lighted shades and granite flooring. The poster gives a nice concept and it’s finer than the room hosting it. Anyone would think it’s a simple wall poster but beneath it lies a date. A written date that serves to recall when something dramatic happened in my life. Something dramatic!
It was barely a fortnight into a certain day in December, if I recall correctly. Words were exchanged from the heart, then came an action and then a reaction. It didn’t end too well. A marker encountered the wall and a specific date was written in very bold letters. A date that was meant to be remembered and to keep me in check.
As the preacher spoke about forgiveness this morning in church, the date flashed through my mind and then I remembered I had used a poster to hide it. It was hidden quite alright but I could see through it in my mind. I recalled all that happened that very day and what led me to paste the poster weeks afterwards. I had made up my mind not to forget the incidence and giving the nature of my mind, I needed to have a reminder. One that would be there when I sleep and when I awakened. It was that important. At least to me!
Years later, the poster still hangs where I hung it, with a drooping dog ear at one edge. The date definitely still behind the beautiful image. The difference now is that I have no longer a need to be reminded of the incidence and why is that? The answer is simple, I have forgiven the incidence, the person and the act itself. It didn’t happen in few counsels, not in just some days. It took me some energy and a lot of mind renewal to look at the poster and not visualize the date beneath or the event that led to it. I still remember though but I have forgiven and it stands to remain so. I can’t say why I held on so long but I have let go completely now.
I did a mental search for more ‘posters’ that hold clues to an unforgiven act or an event that hurt or a person that wounded me. I wouldn’t say I didn’t remember any other but it didn’t matter anymore and that was the crux of the issue that the preacher stressed today. He mentioned that forgiveness does not recall the past. It does not remember via written dates. It does not highlight the annals of life. If we do not forgive, we owe a debt in advance. It will definitely be paid back and paying back debts isn’t so rosy an act.
When the Lord taught his disciples to pray, he clearly mentioned that forgiveness is reciprocal and as we forgive others, so we get forgiven by our Father in heaven. If we don’t, He wouldn’t.
You would probably recall one or two people who really do not deserve forgiveness. Do you remember the massacre of children in a certain public school in Nigeria few weeks back? Defenseless children sent to read and become educated by well-meaning parents. Only to be butchered by men who do not fear God. Men who wouldn’t kill their own children in like manner yet acted dead in their consciences.
Maybe the recent Nyanya bomb blast in Nigeria too, killing innocent bystanders and commuters on their way to work on a Monday morning or is it the abduction of female children who are yet to be located. Some people clearly do not deserve to be treated like humans or even given a space of consideration in the forgiveness terrain…but that is the judgment of man.
The Lord says to forgive those that use us, spite us and hate us. It is definitely not inborn in any man to just forgive and that is why if you do not know the Lord, your act of forgiveness would have limits and when one has limits, certain things are impossible to attain.
There are incidences of robbers stealing hard earned money and killing in the process, or kidnappers who feel they are to be feared and their orders obeyed. What about gang rapists or the jungle judges who mete out punishment without permitting a fair hearing first. How much forgiveness can one store up for all the wrongs committed against us and others we could have stood for?
Forgiveness is not an easy endeavour. Little wonder an English adage say’s “To err is human, to forgive is divine”. As much as forgiveness is divinely instituted, it is yet humanly possible irrespective of the offence or act.
Any excuse can be given for holding a grudge against someone or not forgiving a particular wrong but under the standard law of Love exemplified by Christ Jesus, no excuse is worth hearing. Some things can be very tough to understand, I tell you but from experience time, exposure, relationship and growth brings to limelight that which we feel can never be attained or achieved.
I do not know if you have a beautiful poster like my own. One that no one knows what is lurking behind or what it seeks to hide. People see a nice picture but you know what is hidden behind. I cannot tell if you look so nice and calm yet in the burrows of your heart there are people that you have caged in unforgiveness. You have reasons to not forgive them, maybe there is a child to show as proof or your life has changed course because of the incidence or perhaps you have lost opportunities to become a better person because of what someone did or you may have listened to counsel that ruined you or maybe it’s you who needs to forgive YOURSELF… many are left unsaid and many are probably too gruesome to be mentioned or understood by anyone but the victim yet irrespective of what happened and in no guise of acting like a Holier-than-thou personality, I put it to you that you still have to forgive, you could choose not to forget but you MUST forgive.
Forgiveness is a personal decision, once you decide to forgive, the will is activated and the means and strength finds a way to you. So hard it was for me back then and I still grapple with some aspects but daily I pray for strength to be better and perfected in my course of life and daily I see a growth. If you start today you will know that practice indeed precedes perfection
Practice forgiveness, not because I urge you but because it is the right thing to do and though you may look like a sissy before men, I can tell you that in the sight of God you are his hero-child.
The one that does not forgive burns the bridge that he or she would one day use. No matter the offense, no matter the consequence suffered, you can forgive if you choose to and only men of worth make choices that are worthwhile. You have to forgive HER, you have to forgive HIM. Not because any of them deserve it but because you need to live a better life, one that is devoid of drawbacks.
I may not take down the poster because the wall looks better with it but now when I look at it, I see no wrong, I see no date, I see nobody, I see nothing but the path of grace that has lead me all through life. The poster is now just a poster to me and you know why…because I FORGAVE. Have you forgiven? Completely???
Mat 6:14 “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part. (MSG)
Mat 18:21 “At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven. (MSG)
12:00 pm
Hmmm…….forgiveness……..
thanks for the enlightenment
2:02 pm
Thanks for the prodding, it’s always welcome and thanks for reading too.
8:32 pm
I always 4giv but I still “HOLD ON TO THE LESSONS LEARNT” 4rm dat experience. Any sermon on dat? Is wat am doing wrong?
10:33 pm
Lessons are meant to be learned. But hanging on to a past experience may hinder ones future progress. The fact that someone u helped duped you shouldnt make you stop helpn all together and you must also know that you may still be duped again. Forgiveness seems to say, i know you hurt me and you may hurt me again but i am willing to help you despite the glaring facts
8:35 pm
I think forgiveness comes naturally. It is not something u decide 2 do on ur own. I bliv wit time all wounds wld heal. Dnt force urself 2 4giv. It wld come naturally n totally 4rm d bottom of ur heart.
10:45 pm
Breathing comes naturally, eating comes naturally,anything that comes naturally usually stems from an inbuilt urge. Forgiveness does not come naturally, if not God wouldnt ask man to do it and emphasize it with a condition as seen in the quoted scriptures. It is something that requires our will and Gods grace. If you mean that as one grows he or she understands better the need to forgive then i could agree because forgiveness needs to be learnt. Forgiveness is a divinely conjured virtue available to men that seek to depend on Gods available grace. What you dont practice would not get better with time
4:46 pm
Its really hard to forgive especially when it still hurts so much thinking about the incident but forgiving the person is the right thing to do, when you actually forgive you feel peace within.
6:05 pm
i tell you, forgiveness is easier spelt than effected and that is why it still takes the grace of God, i watched a woman forgive her rapist on TURNING POINT and now they run a ministry to help rape victims. Without God, man’s sojourn is futile.
thanks for reading and commenting
2:20 pm
ITS THE NATURE OF GOD TO FORGIVE