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UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE

I had been warned, cautioned and pin-pointedly rebuked, privately and even publicly. It wasn’t by just one person but everyone seemed to share the same view about this fellow, this man. He is mature, educated and stably schooled. Why all the fuss? What exactly is the meaning of all that was been paraded about this individual? I couldn’t tell from afar and some people clearly stated, “When you encounter him, you will know for yourself”. I didn’t buy their words but I kept the counsel of caution very close by.
It was some time later, I and my colleagues were to learn that we had a new head of department. I didn’t see the signs of rejoicing in their faces and no one betrayed a joyful countenance. I was really eager to know why everyone wore the same long face, some even longer. Then it came!
The man had become our HOD.

I didn’t have a reason to smile or be sad. I was indifferent and I stood on my haunches. I would watch, I would wait, then I could be for or against whatever motion ruled the air. He had this air of seriousness and dedication to duty around him. He loved to document things and he could speak endlessly in meeting sessions. This was the man many spoke about whiletheir hands covered their mouths. I could only watch. Time would certainly tell.
We had meetings in which he would shout down adults and overrule viable opinions and I began to wonder if this DEMOCRACY was really national or some leadership segments where backlisted. I saw how he single-handedly took decisions that were meant to be deliberated upon. He would dish out duties without prior consultations and expect all to go well. I didn’t fancy this type of leadership yet I couldn’t but remain silent.
Many months passed and I had a personal clash with him but wisdom baled me out. I almost vowed not to cross his path again. It didn’t stop there, I got accusations, deadline sanctions and even had to bear some extra workload. Then one day I saw him joke, smile and laugh and I couldn’t place the emotions I witnessed. Was he conscious? So he had a soft side? Yes he did, we all do or don’t we?
I took interest and I got close, we got talking, we shared ideas and I saw that this man was a man not a beast. He could have been cloaked differently at certain times but he definitely was a full bodied and blooded man. He has his downsides and he had his upsides. I saw the former was way exaggerated but I couldn’t judge those who judged him, they were right most of the time but he was still but a man, imperfect.
It wasn’t until we went for a meeting out of town that I saw a different him. A group of intellectuals had spearheaded a meeting and they wanted to undermine the chairman and his executives and slowly the intellectual gathering assumed the atmosphere of a political debate, my HOD stood up to speak and I saw age and experience interwoven in simple English sentences. The end of his say was the beginning of an outstanding calm. I marveled.
I have seen firsthand and probably at once, the publishing of about four (4) voluminous books by him, all intellectuals of sorts though I may not be eager to vote for their contents but definitely a good brain was put to work. I have had sessions of interactions with him and found him stable in logic and reasoning despite the show of rare fits of emotions and behavioural tendencies that many dread.
One day I decided to go closer and I asked questions that bugged my heart and for the first time he took me down memory lane and I grew in understanding. I wished I could explain to all those who misread him, I wish I could tell them why he acts the way he does, I wish they could have seen this side of him. I can only wish but we all decide and choose what we see. I have intentionally driven him in my car and we have had chats that range from casual jokes to serious national issues and I have tried to find him wanting without reason, I failed.
I don’t care what they say about him. I have ought against him too on some issues, infact many issues. I can’t tell his way of life and comfortably say I fully understand how he does his things but I can boldly say that I have worked with him and he didn’t eat me. Call me his favourite, call me what you will, but no man is perfect and we are naturally wired to see others’ faults above ours.
I used to dodge and dread him. I don’t anymore. A good part of me still is clothed with so much caution yet the me-in-me is seeking more contact.
I have learnt that you can live with anyone if you can tolerate and ignore the little pride in us that seeks not to be undermined.
I have learnt that our respect for authority should override our personal knowledge and experience in leadership.
I have learnt that a man is a man and capable of the worst evil and the best good, only circumstances, situations and convictions can provoke what part shows forth.
I have learnt that men will always disagree with men and until we are clothed with a superior countenance, not much is to be expected of us.
I have learnt that a man cannot change himself until he looks unto another being that supersedes his nature.The bible rightly puts it this way:
Rom 14:19
“Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.”
My knowledge thus far has worked for me.
What have you learnt? Has it worked for you?
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