IT’S PERSONAL
Have you ever tried to win someone else’s affection? Say a parent, a guardian or someone you wish would turn around and admire you even without saying words to that effect? Have you ever?
Have you tried going out of your way to do things you never really dreamt of, just to nail it in the wood of someone’s tree? Sure you have. It’s never a bad turn to sacrifice or try to please someone out of your normally comfort zone. It’s not bad at all, that’s what coexistence is all about, isn’t it? So think I !
When you have to always do it to please someone else and go home feeling like a big fool or you take a decision that even death wouldn’t dare you to just because you need to sign an attendance in someone’s register then it’s not just bad, it’s plain STUPID!
I am a Christian, saved and washed in Christ’s blood and I understand what it means to be sacrificial, yet I wouldn’t undermine the definition of self-will. As much as we should love our neighbours, it falls on a benchmark on how much we first love ourselves and understand the love concept personally.
I learned not too long ago in life that people could call you heartless and insensitive and after all the hollow talk come back to say you have a will that could stem an advice for their problems. I learned that what sells is not flattery but frank truth dipped in love and timely dished out. A friend’s wound sells pricey than an enemy’s kiss.
It took me sometime to be myself and dare to ‘hurt’ those who didn’t think I should. It took me time to realize that if God left me with my will then no man should force it from me. It took me time to learn that love wasn’t an excuse for hypocrisy or false living. It took me time to learn that I am me and should remain so else I wouldn’t value you when you decide to be you or I wouldn’t know the difference when you act who you are not.
Life is full of decisions and it duly counts when the decisions are personal, when the decisions are yours. It pays to listen to advice, to seek counsel and navigate the channels of wisdom that you are both privy to and graciously have access to but what counts is the decision YOU make out of it all. Is it your personal decision?
The course you read, the phone you use, the clothes that adorn, the car you drive and park, the job you do, the people you meet, the friends you keep…are they your personal decisions? Granted, someone who has more knowledge in the field can advice and even undertake to carry out the project or drive the concept but once you agree to it, then it becomes your decision. You gave consent so you are to blame or praise.
Nobody gets far in life who isn’t making personal decisions, nobody gets mature as should if he or she isnt calling the shots or agreeing to the called. You do not have to be in leadership or high ranks to call shots. No! You can do that in your daily meal timetable, your sleep and wakeup periods, how much you recharge you phones, where you go and don’t go. They are so many shots to call that you don’t have to think far or look deep to know whether you are in control of yourself or not.
There is every need for one to be in control of one’s decisions, it will tell how much of your personality is truly yours, it will reveal how much your strength can bear and how dependable you are and can become. It will help you bear you share of blame and reap your worth of accolades. It will MATURE you or help you LEAD men.
I wanted to please my parents academically irrespective of my inborn strength and intellect, I wanted to be nice to every lady that came close, I wanted to be faultless and friend to all those that as little as smiled and valued my presence, I wanted to be the good son, I wanted to be Captain Dependable, Mr Fix It, Solution Expert and the Last bus stop. Needless to say I lost my personality and my person. I reeked of another’s perfume while harbouring my body odour. Needless to say I worked really hard, too hard. Being foolish didn’t even require such hard work. Oh my! Was I foolish, pardon me…. A fool so to speak.
You can sing in the background and cock you head to a corner believing I am telling you my life story and glorying in the fact that this is about me and not you. But I can tell that you still please people when it’s not convenient, you cheat to pass when it gets too tight, you hype to be among though with an effort, you lie to feel ok because you have tried your best…I am just saying. I may be wrong!
We should learn to be true to ourselves, whoever doesn’t like us, doesn’t. We should learn to be our own boss, he that would sack us, still will. Why should I lose a battle without fighting when I had the chance to? You shouldn’t marry because family feels right and your conscience squeals foul. You shouldn’t take the dip because all of them have done it and gotten away with it. You shouldn’t do it because you are under pressure.
Take a cue and even if it’s the first time be yourself and know how it feels. You are strong in other aspects, why not try this part? Make your decision and stand by it. You want to sing, please sing, you want to dance and act when the whole family is all medicine and ministry? Go for it and be YOU.
Being you is however far from being wrong or evil or out-of-play from the right. You must have moved tent to the right side before you can be sure that your personal decision is worth the push.
I read a course for five (5) years and decided not to practice, I learnt skills that I decided wouldn’t help my life’s race. I have made choices that cost me more than the available options, yet I glory in the gain and loss because they are my informed decision.
You don’t have to be like me, all you have to be is YOU, nobody more or less. Seek counsel, chase advice, pray God then step out and MAKE THE DECISION.
It’s never too late to be yourself and call your spade something more than a garden tool. Its’ never too far gone to be on the right track. i will rather die in a decision I willing made than live in one I am compelled to without good reason, but seriously why would I make a decision that would lead me to death when I have all the answers in the One who is willing to open when I knock, the One who will give when I ask and help me find when I seek? If you aren’t making your informed personal decisions yet then you aren’t living your life yet and may I graciously inform you…born again or not, life on earth has no spare!
It’s a puncture and you are on the other side. Show’s over. You are still in the show right now. How will you play? You can CUT the scene and replay…its never ever too late to change your course, it’s only too late when you should and still glory in not changing.
My words…your call!